Culture and National Days
A flag with a duck on it, an anthem nobody is allowed to sing fast, a song contest, a brass band and the days everybody gets off.
National days
These are national days and everybody gets them off (Article 7). No Government takes a national day off anyone.
24 February
Foundation Day, also kept as Albert Dock Crossing Day, for the sailing and for the families split up on the quay. The Constitution was ratified on the same date in 1987.
8 April
The Day of the Dead, kept as set out in the Official Day of the Dead Protocol Handbook, with a national commemoration on Cork Hill, Rigobert (Thirteenth Amendment).
15 April
The Day of the Ninety-Seven, on which nothing is celebrated.
1 May
Workers’ Solidarity Day.
Derby days
Whenever Liverpool and Everton play each other in official competition, men’s or women’s. Not friendlies, because nobody cares about those.
Substitute days
When a national day falls on a Sunday, the Monday after is the holiday. When it falls on a Saturday, hard luck.
Not national days
Thanksgiving and Black Friday (Twenty-sixth Amendment). Emergency and safety-critical workers take their days another time; retail is neither (Fourth Amendment).
Symbols of the Republic
The flag
Purple, with a yellow duck in the top corner nearest the pole (Article 4). Purple because the Founding Das came from a city with purple bins. The duck is a nod to the amphibious tour vehicles that once took visitors around the Albert Dock.
The Great Seal
The duck, the Albert Dock pumphouse and the Mersey, with the name of the Republic round the edge and the word SOLIDARITY beneath. The President licks it to make a law.
The anthem
“We’ll Survive, From Eighty-Five”, sung to the Largo of Dvořák’s New World Symphony and ending on a long “Solidarity”. Nobody shortens it, nobody remixes it, and nobody sings it fast to get it over with.
The language
Scouse is the language of the Republic. Its spellings were settled by the Starkey-Harrison Directive of 1988. People are still moaning about them.
Culture
The Rigobert Song Contest
The island’s annual song contest, held on the harbourfront at Rigobert. The 2028 contest was won by the young singer Charlotte Doyle, who went on to sing the national anthem at the 2029 Day of the Dead.
The Rigobert Brass Band of Solidarity
Twenty-eight players in dark purple felt jackets, each with a gold band on the left arm, and the island’s hardest-blowing bassoonist. The band plays at every national commemoration.
The National Collection
Home to every gift worth more than Q150 given to a Minister or the Head of State, and to the last petrol car on the island, handed in at Rigobert in 2020.
Football
Citizens are either Kopites or Toffees, and the Republic takes neither side (Article 4). For the same reason, Dingle is one of only three countries that has never fielded a national football team.
Religion
The State has no religion and pays for none. Rigobert Cathedral, led by the Most Honourable Dean James Martin, hosts many national occasions all the same.
Culture and the Scouse language are the responsibility of the Secretary for Scouse.
Page last reviewed: 29 October 2029