This is an unofficial English translation. The Scouse text is the only authoritative version (Article 3).

Scouse · English

The Great Seal of Dingle

Socialist Republic of the

Isle of Dingle

Official website of the Dinglese Government

Home / Public Services

Fire and Rescue

The Dingle Fire and Rescue Service keeps an island of basalt, pumice and andesite safe from fire, flood, gales and everything else the North Atlantic throws at it.

151

If there is a fire, get out, stay out and call 151. Never go back inside for anything.

At a glance

Responsible minister
Carlos Knight MHP, Secretary for the Island
Stations
In every one of the six cities
National days
Firefighters take theirs another time (Fourth Amendment)

Dingle has no trees, so it has no forest fires. It has stone buildings that rarely burn, and a great many chip pans that do. Most of the service’s work is in the home, on the roads and in the weather.

What we do

Fires in the home

Kitchen fires are the island’s biggest single cause of fire. We fit free smoke alarms in any home that asks, and we will happily lecture you about chip pans while we do it.

Gales and flooding

The island sees gales on dozens of days a year and rain on more than two hundred. Our crews clear roads, secure buildings and pump out homes when the weather wins.

The heat network

Geothermal heat runs under every street. We train with the engineers of the heat network for leaks, steam releases and incidents underground, and we know where every valve is.

Cliff and rescue

Rope rescue on the island’s cliffs and sea stacks, and road traffic collisions, are all part of the job.

Safety-critical

Firefighters are safety-critical workers under the Fourth Amendment, so they take their national days another time. They still get them.

Page last reviewed: 29 October 2029