Travel and Borders
Getting to Dingle, getting in, and, if you were born in Liverpool, getting your citizenship.
Before you travel
- Main airport
- Baker International Airport, Port Ringo
- National airline
- Scouse Airwheyyyyys
- Time zone
- Dingle Time, UTC−2, all year
- Driving
- On the left, electric only
- Dialling code
- +400
- Internet domain
- .dg
The clocks
The time here is two hours behind Coordinated Universal Time. Dingle doesn’t put the clocks forward for anybody, and it is not being asked again (Article 2).
The weather
Winter gales routinely close the airport and the ferries, sometimes for days. Check before you set off, and bring a coat whatever the forecast says.
Aviation
Air safety and the airport are the responsibility of the Scouse Aviation Department, led by its Chief Officer, Capt. Thomas Coleman.
Is Right La: the Right of Scouse Settlement
If you were born inside the city boundaries of Liverpool, you are entitled to be Dinglese (Article 20). You may come here without a visa, live here, work here and enrol (Article 27). The entitlement is not citizenship by itself: you have to claim it, and you have to want it (Article 23).
What counts as Liverpool
The boundaries as they stood on 22 October 1985. The Wirral is not Liverpool. Neither are Warrington, Widnes, Runcorn, St Helens, Southport, Skelmersdale or Chester, and nobody is having an argument about the river (Article 22).
What to bring
Documents proving your birth in Liverpool, which the Border Bizzies check against the Births Register. “Swear down, lad!” will not suffice. Neither will an accent, a pair of white socks or the colour of your bin.
If you are turned away
You will be told why in writing, get a lawyer within six hours paid for out of public money, and can appeal within seven days. Nobody is held at the border for more than seventy-two hours, and anyone held who turns out to have been entitled all along gets paid for it.
Your other passport
Keep your British citizenship if you like. On this island, your Dinglese citizenship comes first (Article 30).
Everyone else
Visitors
Dingle welcomes Wools. Visas, residence and asylum are handled by the Department for Woolyback Affairs, through the Minister for Woolygration. Tourists pay a flat-rate contribution towards healthcare while they are here.
Living and working here
Anyone lawfully here to work, live or study has the same rights as a citizen, including health, housing and education. Anyone with permanent leave to remain may vote in national elections (Article 29).
Asylum
The Republic gives asylum to anyone persecuted for their race, religion, nationality, politics, sexuality or gender, and to their families. How you got here makes no difference: if you made it by dinghy, that’s an achievement (Article 28).
No naturalisation
Residence and asylum give you the Republic’s protection, however long they last. They never turn into citizenship (Article 29).
Page last reviewed: 29 October 2029